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I suddenly hate myself with a passion, this wicked cat and mouse game I play ruins me severe... the clouds seem closer today, the joker I tease so oft begins to get angry. I should not bluff one day he will hold me to this defiant promise and where will I go, what will I do then? The angel sucks me dry, gnaws at my spirit but he cannot be blamed - the only fault I pin one of beauty - otherwise he is simply the victim in the wrong place at the wrong time, it could have been anyone... but I swear to you I will fix, I love you enough to apologize


I wrote this in 1998 for a Pommie guy I was mad for. It was truly an embarrassing experience. Completely! Although he never once forgot my name, because he loved the football team. I hate it when guys do that.